I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
