I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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