8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
