She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize