hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
too bad you live with your parents still
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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