When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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