i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
