Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
