Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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