Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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