my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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