she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
