she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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