Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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