Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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