don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
