Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
