he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
