it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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