Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
