trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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