Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
