She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
