me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
