You can't motorboat a personality
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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