I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize