My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
