OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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