Ambien. No doubt about it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
