Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
