Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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