Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize