Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize