oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize