I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
