So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
