just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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