some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
