She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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