so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
