He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
