Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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