she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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