Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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