'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
