**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
