He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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