So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
