I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
