Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
where are you?
Hypothermia
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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