As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
