You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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