so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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