We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
