Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
