You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
