Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
