They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
