I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize