Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
