Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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