Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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