I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
