If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
