i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
