Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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